You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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