Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
time to smoke my breakfast
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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