im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
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