we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
