therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
