i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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