Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I touched a dick in church today
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
