There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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