I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
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