you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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