So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
