On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
