I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
