fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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