his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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