her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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