So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
