apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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