Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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