I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize