things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
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he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
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Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
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