I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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