You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
