I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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