who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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