FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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