Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
