i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
