Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
