# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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