Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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