There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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