You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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