I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
it glows. i had to have it.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Randomize
