it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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