just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize