Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
