It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
