I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Small penises have feelings too.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
