Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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