My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
