windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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