you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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