feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
