whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize