Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
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I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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