we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize