I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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