He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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