one might say we're banned from that church
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
