is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Randomize
