Betty ford says i'm here all night
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
