My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
