Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
