East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
