K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
We're using joints as your birthday candles
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
