I think scott just propositioned me for sex
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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