Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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