i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
