Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize