who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
