Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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