Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
